Last sunday in church a little girl and her dad came over to talk with us. she had just turned 18 months old and when her dad told her to say hi, she did. When he asked her to say how are you, she copied him like a little parrot. ‘i like nursery’ ‘ hi friend’ and the most heart wrenching of all ‘ i love you’.
This is by far THE hardest thing to hear other kids say because one of my biggest fears is never hearing Melia say those three words to me. I dream about it. I pray for it. I wonder what it will sound like and feel like. I wonder where and when it will happen, or if it ever will happen. Will I cry, laugh or both? So, it makes me sad, even though I am sure their parents beam and cherish those words whole heartedly, I wonder how much more it would mean if they thought they might never get to hear it again?
So back to this dad and his precious girl, I just feel like he was unintentionally shoving it in my face. I know he wasn’t. At this point not many people know of our struggles but sometimes i feel like its just not fair.
I feel like I am stuck on an island with Melia that no one can get to and they don’t understand what its like to be trapped and they all just say, ‘wait a bit, she’s bound to figure it out, she's young. she will get you off the island if you just give her time’. well, she's two and she can’t figure it out, she's just waiting for her mom to do it and I cant because I am totally and utterly lost.
I feel like my eyes should be empty. I’ve cried enough for a lifetime in the last few months, yet still they come.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment