I've been thinking...

lately I have been thinking about throwing myself a little party. Just for me and pity. So I'm going to do it on my blog.
I've been feeling a little... dead inside? Thats not the right term for how I'm feeling but its the only term that comes to mind right now.
I read blogs of friends or strangers and see their pictures of vacations and their daily lives that include their kids and husbands having fun and doing 'normal' things. I hate them. Okay, hate is too strong a word because I really don't- I envy them. I wish I could be teaching Melia to ride a tricycle, or have silly discussions with her about the shapes the clouds are making... anything.
Today I sat in the front room with both of my children. For about a half hour I didn't talk. There was no one talking. I realized, I pretty much have conversations with myself all day every day. I hope Owen learns to talk soon so I can have some sort of reciprocation in the language department.

Alright, pity needs to leave now. These parties always seem like such a good idea until you're in the middle of one. But they really aren't that fun :( Maybe I should try an actual party to get me out of my funk!!